There’s no rule of thumb on the right time to mention your estate plan to your children. In fact, most parents prefer to keep matters about their last wishes private. In addition, parents may shy away from discussing inheritance sharing, worrying they may ruin their kids’ work ethic or give them a harmful sense of entitlement. 

Without a doubt, the conversation about what each child can or cannot get from your estate can be awkward. However, the discussion is necessary under certain circumstances. Factors that can influence when to bring in your child or children on your estate plan include:

• Number of children you have
• Your succession plan for the businesses you own
• Appointment of trustees
• Risk of litigation
• The size of the estate

When you’re ready to bring your children into the conversation, you may decide to share everything, or withhold some of the information, including the specifics on inheritance sharing. This can eliminate the risk of any dissatisfied beneficiary directly coercing you to change your plans. 

So when should you start bringing your children into the fold? While there’s no universal answer, we’re here to help guide you through some common scenarios and provide tips on conducting healthy conversations between you and your kids about what will happen to your assets after you pass away.

How Should You Bring Your Children in?

It’s important to have the “estate planning conversation” early and often so that your children and other loved ones know that it’s a priority for you. Establishing an open dialogue about the topic will give them confidence in their relationship with you and help ensure that everyone is on board with what needs to be done when it comes time for action.

Start by asking questions about what they know about estate planning. If they’ve heard of it before, ask them why they think this is something people do or don’t do. Asking their opinion on the process will show them how much thought has gone into this decision and enable them to feel more involved in the process now versus later, when there may be more pressure or emotions in play. 

Finally, ask if anyone has questions or concerns right away, so no one feels left out of the planning process as things move forward. Being open and honest with your kids goes a long way toward helping them avoid making expensive mistakes when they inherit.

Why Bring Your Children in? 

If a parent passes away without a proper estate plan, the process can be very difficult for children to navigate. They will have to deal with their grief along with the estate and funeral matters. Informing your kids early enough eliminates much of the confusion and quarrels when you aren’t there anymore. 

It also allows your children to process and accept any roles you dictate in your estate plan. If you appoint your kids as a personal representative or trustee, they aren’t bound to take the position provided. Mentioning the responsibilities before filing your estate plan can help straighten out any concerns that they may have. 

Finding the Right Time to Share to Your Kids About Your Estate Plan

Estate planning is often a long, complicated yet personal process. You may hesitate to inform your kids about your plans to avoid conflicts. There isn’t any required timeframe in which you should speak to your children about your last wishes, but in partnership with your estate planning attorney, we can make a recommendation for when to start discussing this important topic with your family based on your unique situation. 

Financial Professionals do not provide specific tax/legal advice and this information should not be considered as such. You should always consult your tax/legal advisor regarding your own specific tax/legal situation.

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